In 2020, the National Center on Education and the Economy noted that students spend on average over 1,200 hours per year in a classroom. This shows how much of a child’s life is spent outside of his or her own home, and in the care of their classroom teacher. Understandably so, the relationship between a student and their teacher must be healthy to ensure both learning and growth take place.
How I Came to Understand This Concept
I began my pedagogical career as a long-term substitute while I was still a young undergrad intern in college. During the final quarter of the school year, I was asked to step into a classroom that had undergone over a dozen substitutes. None of these substitutes had committed to the position long-term. This is because of a very apparent classroom management problem that was taking place. The students in the classroom had deemed themselves the “bad kids” and were determined to keep this theme consistent with all substitutes. This is when I realized that before I could even teach these students content, I would need to form a healthy relationship with them.
By the end of that school year, I had been asked to return as a full-time teacher with my classroom, had won the student-nominated teacher superlative for “Most Likely To Make Your Day”, and left with hand-written thank-you letters from students. Below, I will discuss the important factors that work for me in forming a healthy, sustainable relationship between teacher and student.
Students Must Know They Are Safe With You
As teachers, we understand that each student comes to us with their own set of experiences, personalities, and learning styles. We also need to keep in mind that although solemn to think about, the reality is that many students may have had a negative experience with some form of authority in their past. One of the most important parts of forming a relationship with a student is letting them know that they are safe in your classroom. I give a quick speech on the first day of school stating three specific things: 1) I love being a teacher, 2) I will never let a student make another student feel unsafe in my classroom, and 3) My classroom thrives on consistency. By stating these right off the bat, I let each of my students know that I am an advocate for them.
Students Must See the Authentic You
Put simply, students do not want a teacher that acts perfectly all the time, plays off mistakes, and acts anything less than human. I place quotes all around my classroom with messages about the importance of mistakes in the process of learning. A prime example is the Ways to Fail My Class poster. It lists several different methods of failure stating instances such as, "Fearing Mistakes" and "Being Afraid to Ask for Help". I also make sure to inform my students whenever I make a mistake, am wrong, or don’t know something. Students want to know that they can mess up in your classroom and that it’s okay to do so. With that in mind, I can’t think of a better way to promote this attitude than to model it.
Students Must Feel Respected by You, To Respect You Themselves
We all know the saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated,” but do we do this as teachers? Do we treat students the way that we want them to treat us? An even better critical question to ask yourself as an educator daily is, “Would I want to be a student in my classroom today?”.
I do an exercise during the first week of school with my students where I ask them to write down three adjectives that describe their ideal teacher. I often get repetitive words such as “nice,” “understanding,” “fun,” “kind,” and “respectful”. I write all of these words on the board, and then I tell students that if they want a teacher like this, then I too want a student like this. I too want a student that is nice, understanding, fun, kind, and respectful. This activity has an observable impact on students, and it starts off the school year on an authentic note.
At the end of the day, a healthy relationship between a teacher and student is real—where both the teacher and the student feel happy being themselves in that classroom.
Source: National Center on Education and the Economy. (2020). How Much Time Do Students Spend in School In Top-Performing School Systems and the U.S? http://ncee.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/SchoolYearStatv5.pdf
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